Female conversation has proven that most men behave like babies when they're sick.
They expect to be doted upon and nurtured. They shed the titles of
husband and father. They think nothing of lying in bed until they feel better.
I used to be annoyed by this. But then one day while I was taking
care of my own sick little boy it hit me: Women, we are our own worst
enemies.
Gabe had a bad case of the flu.
Between feverish naps, he asked for chocolate milk. Before I could answer,
he rose sluggishly from the couch and started toward the refrigerator.
"Where are you going,
honey?" I asked.
"I'm getting the milk and
the chocolate for you," he volunteered. Any other day this would
have been normal. It's what we did: He got the ingredients. I
made the chocolate milk. He put away the ingredients.
And yet I heard myself say,
"Sweetie...don't get up. I'll get you your milk. You feel too
yucky today."
As the words came out of my mouth, I knew I was
creating a monster. But every maternal instinct I possessed would not
allow him to help that day. I temporarily erased all expectations for my son
because he was sick.
Gabe was seven at the time.
His sense of responsibility, despite being ill, was still there.
But I put a dent in it that day, and have continued to erode it further every day he's spent sick since.
So who can blame a man that spent every cold and flu season until he was eighteen being spoiled by his mommy?
I am grooming Gabriel to drive his wife crazy because it's impossible for me not to take care of him when he's sick. Can I make
up for it by teaching him to make his bed in the morning? If not, I
apologize to the future Mrs. Gabriel Myers. Because it feels too good to be
needed by my little boy every now and again.
So...The next time I'm ready to
kill Craig when he complains about a sniffle in baby-talk, I will refer to this blog. I will try to be sympathetic when he comes
home from work and tells me he feels like crap, even though he's managed to
interact with clients all day. I will try to be more patient with him and
keep the kids out of his hair while he rests. I will remind myself that
his mother's love conditioned him to behave this way. I will remember
that it's not really his fault.
The next time he's sick...I'm handing him the phone and telling him to call his mom.
And the
next time I'm sick...I think I'll call mine, too.
2 comments:
But don't you do the same things for your girls when they are sick, yet they'll grow up and know how to suck it up and take care of themselves?!?!
Good point, Tam. Thus the need to vent when we're with our lady friends! ;)
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